Friday, February 1, 2008

Answer My Prayers, Football Gods

America's second biggest annual day arrives this Sunday, and I really cannot express the degree to which I would enjoy a Giants victory. Seriously. Five reasons why:

1. Tiki fuckin Barber

Wonder what Tiki's smug, self-important ass has to say now about the brilliant Tom Coughlin/Eli Manning combo. Not to mention the pretty-damn-good running 1-2 punch of Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs. Stupid piece of shit

2. Evil Bill

Not completely, but to some extent I have come to terms with Tom Brady's greatness, even if he's not my favorite guy in the league. On the other hand, between his historically ruthless treatment of players, his dirty injury report mindgames, his low-road, obnoxious attitude toward Mangini, and, most importantly, Spygate, Bill Belichick is the devil of the National Football League.

3. Eagles Fans

Living less than an hour from Philly, I have to tolerate various levels of absurd Philly sports craziness. Giants victory = ultimate fuck you

4. The Manning dynasty

Number of Brady touchdowns this year? 50. Number of Brady championships? 3. The satisfaction I would get from Brady getting rejected back to back years by two different Mannings? Priceless.

5. Love of the Underdog

I couldn't care less about Vince Young's Texas team a couple years ago, but I was so sick and tired of ESPN talking about USC and the all-time greats that by the time the game kicked off I was heavily rooting for the Longhorns. An 18-1 Pats team would just be kinda cool.


Erik said...

The satisfaction you would get from seeing Tom Brady downed 2 years in a row by various Mannings is no less absurd than how I feel about any Philadelphia teams. None of it is any more crazy than anyone else who watches sports and lies loyal with a team.

Anonymous said...

F the giants, they should be lucky to get to play the pats again...the dynasty will continue.

Andrew said...

Pats 56, Giants 3

A VISA commercial joke, Joe? Really? How this site has fallen.

June 16th said...

48-7 Pats.

Tom Brady evolves to Tom 2 Brady

reasonableman616 said...

haha i was wondering who june 16 was, but the mention of a Tom2 Brady really narrowed the possibilities

June 16th said...

how great would some random blogger saying that be. like thats a common term.

one day..

Anonymous said...

Tom may evolve mid-game, a la Krabby

Andrew said...

that was me by the way...